This Essay won an award for teaching people about death and dying from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. Teri was 44 and I was 38 during her hospice care. I saw Terri every Thursday for about a year. Upon arriving to her house her bed was in the living room. It was a little house, and when I arrived Terri was quiet and seemed like she just needed a girlfriend. She was checking me out, [...]
I have been thinking a lot about suffering, how much we suffer in a lifetime. There seems to be no way of escaping it. The short version for this? We are human and it is part of our experience here. Looking back on my life and observing others’ lives, we suffer from the time we are born. The mother suffering during childbirth, the baby suffers as well, (although quickly forgotten for both). Birth has a happy ending [...]
When our loved ones leave us sometimes we will have profound dreams of them. Those dreams can be alarming or bring peace. In the early stages of grief, we want to know did they make it safely to heaven? After all it is a journey. Are you looking for signs from your loved ones? I know I did. I had so many dreams about my mom in the beginning. It will be 9 years and [...]
I personally have interviewed many people who have had a near death experiences or NDE, and have read numerous books on the subject. I truly love their stories. I wanted to write about the most important messages that they share about love, and it may not be what you think. In my involvement with people who have had a near death experience they died a traumatic death; car crashes, lightning strikes and drowning. What is fascinating to [...]
Our hearts continue beating no matter the sadness and visceral pain we experience when a love one dies. What else can our breathing do? Let me invite you to the space of the breath and only the breath. I know what you’re thinking, people say to you just breathe, take a deep breath and in the depths of grief even this sounds like it is no help at all. Yet, if we break it down and think [...]
Yes. It really is that simple. I am an animal lover and I have been around many grieving animals. I know you have seen the pictures of dogs laying by their masters grave. Just the other day while playing golf, I witnessed a baby bird that was laying in the grass and not doing well. The mama and a bunch of other birds were all trying to protect the baby bird that was near death. The most [...]
Written for opentohope.com I pick Acceptance. It makes me cringe if I am in a conversation with someone who is grieving or missing a loved one in any way shape or form and I hear the words, it’s time to let go or you need to let go. I am sure their intentions come from a loving place. There is a time to let go of some things in our lives and grief is not one of [...]
Written for opentohope.com I am so sorry for your loss. There is one feeling that I don’t see discussed much and that is the loneliness that comes with grief. There is a feeling in the heart that makes us feel like we are walking in this world totally alone. It doesn’t matter who we are with. Whether it is a concert, an intimate party with friends, sports events or even the simplest of things like grocery shopping, [...]
Written for opentohope.com Recently, I have received phone calls from dear friends who have lost people they love. Lost. That word, it is so final, but do we really know? Still, there is that empty space of where are they? What’s it like? Are they happy and safe? It is so difficult to wrap our human brain around death. I believe that we do get signs. After 20-plus years working in hospice, helping the living and the [...]
Senseki: At last I am leaving: in rainless skies, a cool moon... pure is my heart It is Thursday, my day to visit a 92-year-old man as his hospice volunteer. My visit is a labor of love that I have treasured for the past 15 years. To me, there is no greater service than to visit him, love him, and keep him company in his last days. I pull up to the assisted living facility and I [...]