A broken heart can stir up so many feelings inside us, mostly sorrow, sometimeswe may do (or think of doing) things we never would have done when we are in this much pain. With a broken heart, the days ahead seem grim,and existing on this earth when we feel this way is very difficult or may seem impossible. As you read this, you may be thinking of a broken heart due to relationship or marriage, but there are many events that break a heart in a lifetime.
Heartbreaks: death of a loved one, a diagnosis that changes a life, death of a pet, divorce, losing friends through death or change, witnessing suffering on the news or in your community, war, 9/11, Tsunamis, shootings of innocents,and other world events that we cannot understand. There are also other kinds of heartbreak: loss of a childhood, getting older, losing eyesight, strength and youthfulness, depression, hopelessness, loss in meaning of one’s life, and thoughts of suicide. These kinds of heartbreakshave not evolved from a specific event necessarily—they could be caused by multiple events built up over time.
How many heartbreaks can a human endure? There isthe popular saying, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” is negotiable. I am a little bit more philosophical about this. So, what does make us stronger? Let’s first address what doesn’t. We tend to insulate our lives with lots of things: some are fun, and some are just a distraction from a broken heart. Activities like shopping, drinking, sex, diving into work, exercise, and planning, planning, planning our schedules so that there is no room to breathe, no stillness. I am not saying fun isn’t good and the occasional distraction can’t help, but if it gets to be a chronic thing and there is no breathing room in all the activity, well let’s just say “Houston, we have a problem!”
We plan too much as a society;we think it keeps us safe. It doesn’t. That insulation we build canblow up in our face as soon as something big happens that changes our life forever. Go ahead and plan, but just know we make plans and God laughs, “seriously who is really in charge here?”Heartbreaks are deaths, grieving heartbreak is essential. Life prepares us for death. I will never stop saying that and this is not a bad thing; it just is. It is a blessingbecause what you will find unbreakable is your wisdomand that wisdom, my friends, is what will bring the ultimatepeace in your eventual death. Are you ready to go deeper with heartbreak now that you have identified your own and what you have done in the past? Reconnecting with your infinite wisdom, is not as challenging as you may think.
This is not complicated; it is so simple it is beautiful. Let me start with a quote from Mother Teresa that I have had on my bedroom wall for years. I might add I could not understand it, but knew one day I would. She says, “ I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt only more love.” As I explored this thought even more, I received more beautiful insights from other mentors and friends. In fact, it came pouring in. A YouTube video was sent to me from a friend of a beautiful mentor of mine. It nudges us into the realization that in the breaking we begin to recognize what remains unbreakable. Beautiful. Perfection. This is why we are here, to learn this (always it’s a choice) in the space of the breaking we can go either way, and I know you have witnessed this in others when the choice made is destructive. I invite you to sit in the spaciousness in your pain, go to the stillness, be with the breaking, do not insulate it hoping you will be protected.
I will share events in my own life, which has had a considerable amount of heartbreaks thus far. After all, the spiritual path invites this, the soul is relentless in its growing when one is living a conscious life. About 2 years ago I had multiple heartbreaks: my husband moved back to his country; I did not want to go and leave my sons behind in addition to that my mother was terminal with breast cancer.We filed for divorce and I trudged on. Mom passed away not long after this. Just as I began seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, my beloved pet of 13 yrs passed away.
Over the past 2 years I have examined my own heartbreak thinking I can’t take anymore, some days were filled with so much sorrow, yet I knew there was nothing to “do”. I spent much of my time by the seashore and I found love, more love than I ever could have imagined, a love and peace that resides in me. Please note that I said I found it, but it was never really gone; I did not have to “get” it. Peace and love are not something you get, they are in you every second of everyday. Heartbreak has brought me back to more love, more peace than I ever could imagine. You see, this is simple, stillness is simple. I was fortunate to live near the ocean during this time. I would stand in front of mother ocean and feel an immense amount of peace and love that came from me and her; it was a relationship inside of me waiting to be birthed. This is what is unbreakable, this divine love, this divine peace, this divine you.
Discover it, and surrender to it. Blessing you on your journey to your own heart.