Written for opentohope.com I am so sorry for your loss. There is one feeling that I don’t see discussed much and that is the loneliness that comes with grief. There is a feeling in the heart that makes us feel like we are walking in this world totally alone. It doesn’t matter who we are with. Whether it is a concert, an intimate party with friends, sports events or even the simplest of things like grocery shopping, [...]
Written for opentohope.com Recently, I have received phone calls from dear friends who have lost people they love. Lost. That word, it is so final, but do we really know? Still, there is that empty space of where are they? What’s it like? Are they happy and safe? It is so difficult to wrap our human brain around death. I believe that we do get signs. After 20-plus years working in hospice, helping the living and the [...]
This Essay won an award for teaching people about death and dying from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. Teri was 44 and I was 38 during her hospice care. I saw Terri every Thursday for about a year. Upon arriving to her house her bed was in the living room. It was a little house, and when I arrived Terri was quiet and seemed like she just needed a girlfriend. She was checking me out, [...]
Senseki: At last I am leaving: in rainless skies, a cool moon... pure is my heart It is Thursday, my day to visit a 92-year-old man as his hospice volunteer. My visit is a labor of love that I have treasured for the past 15 years. To me, there is no greater service than to visit him, love him, and keep him company in his last days. I pull up to the assisted living facility and I [...]
There are people who enter our lives and impact us in a profound way, and recently there was a beautiful young man with light green eyes, and a brilliant smile, who entered my life for only a short time but made such an impact on me. He came into my life through a class I was teaching about death and dying at a local high school. It was one of the basic classes about what to say [...]
Holiday blues got you down? You are not alone this season By Stephanie D. Schulte An interview with Nina Impala Although the holiday season is filled with good cheer, decked out halls and festive times, for many people it heralds waves of sadness and grief into their lives. For some, the memory of a loved one who has passed away can spark painful feelings. For others, a divorce or job loss can lead to holiday sadness. [...]
The news has just come in—news you did not want to be true. But it is true, and you and your family are about to enter the Death Zone. If this is starting to sound like a scary movie it isn’t, and by the time you finish reading this I hope you will lose any fear you may have of the death zone. The fact is, we all will die. This is not a secret. But we [...]
The experience of grief is unique to every individual, but during the holidays feelings of sadness and grief that may arise tend to be stronger than at other times during the year. During the holidays we may be going about our daily schedules and suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, sadness stirs inside us with a tremendous sense of loneliness, vivid memories of a person or event that resurface, or acute feelings of loss around missing a friend [...]
I never know when I’ll find myself in a position to help someone cross over. Most of the time I end up working with a patient as a hospice volunteer. Sometimes I am referred to someone who needs my help. And sometimes I just happen to be at the right place when I’m needed. Recently I experienced such a time. That day started out as a typical Sunday—a little coffee, some light music, the sliding door open [...]
I step into the room its kind of like landing in Oz, you know when Dorothy is looking around sort of star struck? Now just add holy and sacred to that, as if golden light is shimmering everywhere. Beautiful Lucy glances at me for a brief moment and smiles like she is watching the best movie ever, a feel good movie. You know the one that lifts your spirits, leaving you with a warm inner smile, like [...]