Mother Teresa says, “I have found the Paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt only more love” Mother Teresa speaks of one of the great mysteries in this quote. In a lifetime many of us go through many trials asking ourselves, why did this happen? Perhaps maybe even looking at the life of another and wondering why it didn’t happen to them. Hence the heart feels troubled, as there is no explanation. The trial is now recorded in the section of our brain of the unexplained and unplanned things that “happen” in life. Explaining this is not as difficult as it sounds, and will actually bring peace to a troubled heart.
Death, divorce, loss or change at a job, losing a friend, losing a house, disease, feeling wronged, depression are things that are unplanned and will drive humans crazy looking to make sense of it. What Mother Teresa speaks of is an opportunity for your soul when life events did not go the way you planned. I had her quote on my wall for years wanting to know, What does this really mean? It was in my 50th year when I had subsequent deaths in my life that I finally understood. In our human minds we are trained to build foundations that bring security and most of us really try. Getting married we takes the vows, “until death do us part”. A death in marriage is not always about a physical death. People change, life changes. Maybe the plans of having a fulfilling career and retiring with security is a plan that unexpectedly changed or losing a friend you though you might have in your life forever. You get the picture.
Loving until it hurts is about the foundation being God. I am not talking religion here at all. I am talking about a relationship with your God, your higher power. When these events happen in our lives, there is a much bigger picture going on that we cannot see. Doesn’t faith believe in something we cannot see, nor control? The only “plan” you have if you choose, is the one that furthers the purpose of your souls journey. For example, when we pray or meditate for others or ourselves praying for a specific outcome is futile, it actually limits the love because now we have blocked the abundance of what God wants for us. When I had subsequent deaths in my own life, I was very sad, I knew it all had to happen. I took care of myself while my soul was working through all the grief (and still does sometimes); yet my soul knew knew that these journeys of loss are a part of life. Loving myself more and loving others more made the journey a little easier.
In my ministry of helping others through grief, loss and change, I have witnessed people that were literally cruising through their lives, great career, kids, husband they literally had it all. No real mishaps, no real great suffering or pain. It is interesting to witness especially when I have assisted people on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. How does that work right? Not ours to figure out, it is the journey of those souls. We could go deeper with this and look at those that are born in third world countries plagued by war and hunger as opposed to being brought up in the United States. It just is what it is. These are the big questions for when we get to heaven. I believe everything in my life up to this point is so I can do what I do for people and I understand what unconditional love means. When my parents died, I realized I wanted to help others more, especially the elderly. Also, when I love someone more who is mean to me it shifts the energy, the person no longer feels threatened. This works even in the little things like when I am in traffic on the freeway and my fellow humans are less than kind, it changes things. I feel this process has so many levels, sometimes the love comes faster than others, still it takes place within us and our loved ones just by the intention or willingness to create it.
What I know for sure is that if I choose love more the hurt is much less. Mother Teresa had such a giving heart; she helped so many die, even when she was angry because so many had to die. She just loved more and found more love and is a great example for us all.