The news has just come in—news you did not want to be true. But it is true, and you and your family are about to enter the Death Zone. If this is starting to sound like a scary movie it isn’t, and by the time you finish reading this I hope you will lose any fear you may have of the death zone. The fact is, we all will die. This is not a secret. But we like to think if we keep it hush-hush it may magically disappear; so being with the dying is a process that is often not discussed. But I am going to take you on a journey into the death zone and show you what it really means.
No one prepares us to take care of the dying. I am not talking about placing a loved one in a facility; I am talking about when a loved one wants to die at home. We say yes and then begin the process. No books are read, no classes taken. We just do it. We enter the death zone willingly with our loved one because we care. Judy’s dying brother, Randy, was sitting outside in the shade with his head resting on a table, and the puppy close by. Judy told me the puppy liked to stay outside with him. I barely caught a glimpse of Randy, but she let me know this is where he spent most of his time.
Tears were streaming down Judy’s face as she finished her story. I got close to her, touched her gently on the arm, and said, “I want to stop all the thoughts right now and share with you something that is very important.” I paused and made eye contact. “What you are doing right now in this house is very holy. Your home has become sacred ground. Your brother has chosen to die here with you.”
HeartSight™ is a process I have developed that entails seeing through the eyes of the heart, rather than the eyes of the mind. It is a form of grief counseling that comes from a higher place inside of us. HeartSight™ is what helped me get beyond Randy’s tumor, past the disease that was ravaging his body, and connect with his soul. I had the privilege of being with and assisting the beautiful spirit of a man who was going home, and I felt so humbled at that moment. My hands were guided by something much bigger than me as they went straight to the tumor. I touched it and tried to lift it to release the pressure while Judy sat and cried as she held Randy’s hand.
After I left Judy and Randy I went to my hotel, did my interview, and drove home. I had seen Randy and Judy on Friday. Monday morning I got a message from Judy on my cell phone, and I quickly called her back. This is what she told me:
“When Randy got up this morning he told me not to go to work, because he was going to die today, so I called in to work and let them know I wouldn’t be in. Randy and I sat on the patio and talked about what was going on for him, and my son came over and said very simply, in the way of a six-year-old, ‘Goodbye Uncle Randy.’ I had explained to him that Uncle Randy was going to cross the rainbow bridge, just like our dog that had recently passed away, and he understood and accepted this. We continued sitting together outside until Randy suddenly had a feeling, a sensation. I asked if this was it, and at that moment Randy looked up and exclaimed, ‘Oh. Oh!’ His words were not an expression of pain but of bliss. Then he closed his eyes and transitioned.”
After the death of her brother, Judy was very sad. We all grieve our loved ones when they leave this earth; it is a natural human process. The difference here is even though Judy is grieving there will be a peace which resides in her because she witnessed Randy’s dying process through the eyes of her heart and not her head.